icantspellmynameright:

magic conch shell should i start my homework

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the conch has spoken

(Source: thewintersoulja, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

necrophilofthefuture:

those 10 seconds after your laptop dies when u just hopelessly stare at the dark screen

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(via lost-inside-dreams)

youngstate:

u r the smell before the rain u are the mac n cheese in my brain

(via proctalgia)

dutchster:

i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins

(via themotivationgeneration)

snapchatting:

spice things up in bed with some communism

(via proctalgia)

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW

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NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES

(via fabricateaflood)

thisurltotallysucks:

dion-thesocialist:

It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.

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(via cadburycreamcoolator)